You are invited to bid and WIN the first (and quite possibly last) ever Peach Truck Co-pilot extravaganza. Yes you and a friend will experience the pure joy of riding in the cab of the ’56 Ford (known more affectionately as Peachy) road watering truck hither and yon around the Fair site. She was purchased in the early 1970’s for not more than $50 (coulda been $25, coulda been, well, it WAS a long time ago…) as surplus from the Bandon Fire District or Department or whatever it was they had back then. Rumor has it that her term of service was expected to be several years (now in the neighborhood of 50 years OH MY GOD!). Nancy Albro painted the peach on her posterior not long after her (the truck) arrival on site and she (the truck) has been Peachy ever since.
Should you be the lucky winner (and you should be), you will experience the raw human emotion evoked by no air conditioning! You will recoil at the bulging biceps of your cruise captain demonstrates power steering by Armstrong! You will have the honor of telling me when the tank is full, after which I will regale you with the tale of how that training *used* to occur (if you remind me, the cab fumes sometimes affect my memory after all these decades of driving her). Yes, for the simple price of one auction item you will personally experience drivebys of Alice’s, the Cow Palace, the WareBarn, HoweBarn, WhoBarn, and barn near every other structure in our watering meanders. Ever wanna throw open and inch and a half ball valve? Well here’s your big chance!! Make a fire hose do what YOU want it to? Step right up! You may even get to decide between Jokers and Clowns. Wanna start the pump? Fine ‘n dandy. Wanna stop it? Have at it (at the direction of your pilot, of course…). Enjoy the unique perspective of the living figurehead standing atop the water bar as we meander about. And did I mention the siren…??! You, too, shall share in the knowledge of the location of ~~~ The Secret Switch. There’s no stopping the flow of smiles and waves that will wash over you and that you will send back out amongst the newly moistened crafters, entertainers, staffers, volunteers ~ hell, out there you may even spot a Mouseketeerer.
And then there’s the tales, oh the tails, that can be told of early morning conflagrational extinguishment, Presidential scooter shenanigans, topless tree watering, naked Peach Truck runs (rumors only, of course), and just so much more. I’ll even git ‘er into fourth gear high (yep, there’s a split rear end!) for ya which, if the speedometer worked, would be sorta fast.
And to keep your win fresh in your mind until 2022, your winning bid will earn you a limited edition copy of the Peach Truck Sticker, conceived of and created by the wonderful man whose brain came up with the Heart Oregon sticker idea.
So there’s the offer. Seems irresistible to me but, then, I’ve been addicted to her since I had brown hair which was, yes, a while back. I look forward to saying, “Welcome aboard”
Amounts paid over market value are deductible as charitable donations, to the extent allowed by law.